Causes of Divorce

Following are some of the main reasons for increasing divorces in our community.

Religious:
One of the couples might be more practicing than the other, he or she would like his or her partner to observe as he or she observes. One might not like to have TV inside the house. What about music? Taking pictures etc

Ethical:
This relates to drugs, alcohol and unfaithfulness in marriage

Polygamy:
This is peculiar to indigenous. The problem involves polygamy here is that most of the brothers who practicing it do not have financial ability to properly take care of the first wife in addition to question of justices and the law of the country.

Financial:
To divide financial responsibility between wife and husband is one of the causes of the problems. Islamically speaking, every man know that he is responsible for providing for the family, but if his wife works, it is difficult for some men to understand that they are still solely responsible for the maintenance expenses.

Restriction of freedom and unlimited freedom:
Some men who misunderstood the concept of qawama dictate to their wives when they should go out of the house and when they should return. And how many times they should use the telephone and do not allow them even to answer phone. On the other hand, there are some women who leave their homes at any time without informing their husbands and return whatever time they wish. Both are at extremes.

In-Laws:
This is one of the primary causes of the problems among immigrants.

Recommendations for Prevention of Divorce

1. The first thing both husband and wife should remind each other is Taqwa (fear) Allah or to renew the Iman. How many times did Allah call upon us in Qur'an to renew our Iman?
2. Both husband and wife should remember that sooner or later he/she would stand before Allah.
3. Both husband and wife should recognize each other's primary needs.

Male Primary Needs Female Primary Needs

1. To be loved To be loved
2. To be accepted To be cared for
3. To be appreciated To be understood
4. To be obeyed To be respected

4. Wives should accept the leadership of their husbands, because Allah gave him that
5. Men should not misuse the qawama. It's shura.
6. Couples should remember that divorce does not only affect them but it affects their extending relatives and entire Muslim community in one-way or another.
7. Couples should remember that it's haram to jeopardize the future of their children
8. Husband and wife should remember patience is the key to Iman and a happy marriage

Questions/Answers

Topic: Divorce

Assalaumu Alaikum,
I have a very complicated situation. While in prison my husband pronounced me divorced two times in front of the Imam and myself. I have completed my waiting period; actually it has been over a year. I had sought the divorce due to abuse and this is why my husband was/is in prison. He pleaded guilty to the abuse and confessed it to the Imam. After which he is now facing deportation but has applied for Asylum. Which Insha-Allah I think he is going to receive.

We have just recently spoken for the first time since he pronounced me divorced two times. He now says that since he did not pronounce it a third time we are still allowed to be married to one another and has expressed the desire to reunite. I was under the impression that when I completed my waiting period we were divorced and that it would become final. The Imam even gave me a divorce certificate. I admit that now, I have had some second thoughts about being divorced but need to know if we would be allowed Islamically to resume marriage relations? Was our divorce valid if he only pronounced it 2 times? If I married another brother would I be committing adultery? I am a bit confused about the divorce laws. Is it if he only pronounced the divorce twice, we are divorced but could remarry without me having to marry and divorce another brother first? Is it that because he only pronounced it twice and not 3 times we could remarry again? I have wanted to remarry, have not had an opportunity but now am afraid because I do not want to fall into any type of sin. Also, I am having second thoughts about my husband (ex-husband?). Please advice me of my position.
JazakullahKhair.

Dear sister
Yes you can remarry to your ex-husband because he did not divorce you three times.

If he divorces you for the third time, then the divorce would become irrevocable. You could not remarry him until you marry to someone and have intercourse with him and then get divorce (without you planning to get divorce in order to return to him).

Topic: Divorce

First I must explain the situation. My husband has been overseas for a big part of the past 1 ½ years. He has not supported me properly and has not had relations with me for almost 2 years. There is much more that is very degrading of what he has put me through. He has pressured me for anal sex (I refused every time) and also have had to give him oral sex uncountable times but he will not have intercourse with me and he also refuses my rights to have children, which I have so desired during our 5 year marriage. He agreed to give me a divorce but will not give me my Islamic divorce first until I give him the American divorce. There is no Shariah court here and I was informed that if I get my American divorce that this automatically divorces us Islamically without him having to tell me "I divorce you". I had consulted a Sheikh Rashad of Texas and he told me since we both agreed on divorce and have come to a settlement that this makes us divorced Islamically but that he needed to research this situation to make sure of his decision. I am supposed to call him in 2 weeks but I need to know much sooner what is the proper ruling on this matter. I know I have the right to divorce him but he is trying to play games on giving me the Islamic divorce. Since he did agree to the divorce and signed the papers already and has taken his property and we have the divorce filed in the state court does this give me my Islamic divorce at the time to the American one or am I divorce Islamically now so that my waiting period can began? Please help me on my situation. Jazakalakhair!

Dear sister
It's true what Imam Rashid said. Since he agreed to divorce and signed it, it's Islamically a divorce whether you take it to the court or not.

Topic: Divorce by US court

If a Muslim gets divorce by US law in the court is it considered one talaq or three talaq?

No, because non-Muslims do not perform marriage for Muslims nor do they execute talaq ? question: If a wife during an argument says these words: "I request Talaq (divorce) from you" "I request Talaq (divorce) from you" "I request Talaq (divorce) from you" But the husband stays quiet and neither confirms nor denies the request. What is the state of the marriage in Shariah after such an incident? The marriage remains valid. No divorce or khul'a. has taken place.

Topic: Calling word Talaq three times by wife

If a wife during an argument says these words: "I request Talaq (divorce) from you" "I request Talaq (divorce) from you" "I request Talaq (divorce) from you" But the husband stays quiet and neither confirms nor denies the request. What is the state of the marriage in Shariah after such an incident?

The marriage remains valid. No divorce or khul'a. has taken place.

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